i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
