It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There r osticjed everywhere
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i believe in u and ur pee
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
