hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
