i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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