Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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