I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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