Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
