a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
