I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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