i don't like sucking hair
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
