just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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