I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
