Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
