mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
be right there i have to get my cape
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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