Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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