He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize