hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
