What did we do last night that was yellow?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
