so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
