Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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