I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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