Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
