Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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