He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
