No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
