He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
