I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
