addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize