I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
