3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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