About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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