Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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