Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
