I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I bet he comes in French.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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