i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize