I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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