So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
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Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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