Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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