he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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