I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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