honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I want a musical about memes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
