Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
