I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
