I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize