Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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