you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
