ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
