Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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