NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
