Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
