he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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