bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize