the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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