i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
