and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
