oh god the rape fog is back!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i will never coherently bang her
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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