In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
did i just pee glitter
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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