My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
